everyone has a limit
a limit to how much they can tolerate
a limit to how much they can accommodate
a limit to how much effort they can put in
a limit to how much they can cheer themselves on

there comes a point in life
when you just cannot go past that limit of tolerance
when all you want to do is shout a string of vulgarities. at no one.
perhaps. at myself
that i really
had enough

so many questions burning in my heart
i hope they burn and combust themselves dry
how can you know me. and yet. do not really know me
how can you understand me. and yet. do not really understand me.
why is it that
all the time i feel so upset and so helpless and so frustrated
but yet
there is only. myself comforting me...
perhaps the reason
is because
you prob dint even noe that i needed some comforting

i get angry at myself for getting angry at others, frustrated that i have stopped seeing the positives, annoyed by your actions and lack thereof, picking at the little things because my tolerance limit is up, upset because you probably almost never get my non-verbal cues, sad by the fact that i cannot be more understanding towards ppl, demoralized by the sheer fact that im typing this out as a plea to the internet n not to humans, depressed by my own hurtful words to you, and guilty because im wasting tissue wiping these weird salty things as they trickle out of my eyes.

as i type and rant
emotions start to calm a little
probably
i need to learn how to care less
when u care less for things, for actions, for people
u hurt less

is that why selfish people made themselves so selfish and to nurture out a heart of stone
so that they don't feel the pain?
perhaps the pain they have felt was something that
the joy they once experienced could never surpass
and hence,hey have decided to erase it once and for all
...
so
arent those who made these selfish people selfish
a whole lot shittier than them?

when caring and loving gets trampled on. unknowingly.
perhaps
thats when u hear a heart
shattering

o well
food for thought
time to leave the world of the internet
and get back to reality
(so tempted to end this post with a vulgarity. but decided.. its ok! )