AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..



this is what i shared on my fb wall (adapted from cel's fb wall).. 
i guess it applies not only with relationships..
its the same thing as with friendships.

u make friends with someone cos u guys can click
u enjoy going out with them. watching movies with them. talking, gossiping with them cos they inject life into your life.
well,its effortless esp when we r still schooling 
because we meet our good/best friends effortlessly each day without fail so long as there is school.

however,
what happens after graduation?
what happens when we start to work?
friendship also needs effort to be maintained for years.. for life
when good frens go out to work in different companies, with different shifts
it takes a whole lot of effort to plan to meet
and to even bother to meet
so thats when most friendships start to crumble bit by bit
not because we cant click anymore
but more of because
we dont even meet anymore
and then
new friends come along, ppl whom we work with, ppl whom we hang out with . ppl whom we can meet easily, effortlessly without fail each day so long as there is work/school etcc
so

its a choice.
will u make the effort to sustain a friendship
or will u simply let it slip away
or will u treasure ur new friends way more than the old ones whom u have had for years?
so much so that sometimes
the person whom u wan to turn to first when u fall, becomes a new face, n no longer that trusty old fren that lent u  her listening ears in the past many years..
it may be becos they have become more impt in your life,
it may be becos they understand what u r going through more than old frens
it may b becos, you have forgetten your good old fren.

so sometimes
i think im blessed with good friends too
during my saddest instant, 
i had an old fren to talk to on the phone, to cry my heart out to when it broke. 
thank u anita =)

when i felt so much sorrow, 
there was someone who cried with me
thank u yiting =)

n to my friend since sec 1 in nhss
thanks for being there
for the concern and all =)
thank u joan =)

n of cos many others 
n im also blessed with a good boyfriend who was there for me 
even after his shift, he still came down.

even though there have been so much sadness deep inside
and so much of "how i wish time could go back" in my current life (with francis, with yingying)
im counting my blessings
and am feeling the joy that i have at present times as well.
i guess
sometimes, that's how we live on.










i miss u so much
that i wish it was all just a nightmare
i really do.


I’m a phoenix in the water
A fish that’s learnt to fly 
And i’ve always been a daughter
But feathers are meant for the sky 
So I’m wishing, wishing further 
For the excitement to arrive 
It’s just I’d rather be causing the chaos 
Than laying at the sharp end of this knife 

With every small disaster 
I’ll let the waters still 
Take me away to some place real 
'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone 
where you go when you’re alone 
Is where you go to rest your bones 
It’s not just where you lay your head 
It's not just where you make your bed
As long as we’re together, does it matter where we go? 
Home
Home

So when I’m ready to be bolder,
And my cuts have healed with time
Comfort will rest on my shoulder 
And I’ll bury my future behind
I’ll always keep you with me
You’ll be always on my mind 
But there’s a shining in the shadows 
I’ll never know unless I try 

With every small disaster 
I’ll let the waters still
Take me away to some place real 
'Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone 
Is where you go when you’re alone 
Is where you go to rest your bones 
It’s not just where you lay your head 
It's not just where you make your bed
As long as we’re together, does it matter where we go? 
Home



such a beautiful song


watching korean dramas can be somewhat enlightening at times.
watching how the king. the supposed high and mighty. the one whom we think has all powers and glory,
being controlled by the horrible officials in court.
it just slaps humans with the reality that
what may seem to be the best
may actually simply be a facade
an illusion that people look up upon in order to compare and see how lowly they themselves are
in fact
if they break through this illusion
what a king is. what richness is.
is not what they think of or imagine as

sometimes humans just dont see what they have
because all they see is what OTHERS have. and what they themselves lack.
to make things worse.
there's this thing called facebook. where ppl post pictures of their happiest moments
their moments of spending. their material wealth
which of cos. everyone admires and would want to work towards to.
but how many in fact
would post on fb, pictures of their poverty. of their own misery. and of their own lacks and fears. 
this is why 
sometimes
reality is but itself an oxymoron
because what is reality?
is just an illusion of what we perceive things to be
if thats the case
is there anything really real?
or is reality just something surreal. something that is not a fact. 
bt instead
something that is made up.
created by the minds of humans. and to each his own?

food for thought.