im so tired
i dunno y
i can just collapse into bed n fall aslp now even though im so bloated with food
feel listless
eyes dun wish to open
im sick n tired of going online n offing my lappie at a low n sian mood
sick of being such a horrible girl by feeling so sian diao when i see it
clueless at y such things can prick me when it seem to not matter to others
im gg to take a quick shower. wash my face
hug baby n go to slp
n tomorrow
meeting anita to go fly kite
wanted to wear a nice long skirt
but i cant seem to find it..
sian
but nvm
i'll just tie a flower in my hair
n as the kite flies.. so will my sianness =)


somtimes its the small little details that one cant see that makes me sad
cos these little small details add up to sth significant
rather den look at stuffs in a macro pov.
how i wish one would look more into the micro things that i would treasure more
i wunt feel happy if u gave me a million dollars
but i would be a hundred fold happier if u gave me e tiniest n cheapest present that i showed interest in
even if its a sweet. a hairband. a book .. a pen. anithing
the joy of receiving this item weighs tons more than receiving the most expensive gift on earth which holds not even a tiny significant meaning.
even a gift that is intangible .. like a response.. or an acknowledgment of knowing wad i like n dislike would b perfect. just showing it in small ways means so much.

sitting beside weili n vithiya made me happy
vithiya surprised me with a pair of crocs.. even though i alreadi have the same design in a diff colour. it doesnt matter
cos they bothered to ask wad i wanted or needed.n it was the thought that counts
seeing how vithiya can give a small present like a packet of sweets for wl
n weili smiling. makes it so heartwarming.
even though the lecture was a tad boring. it was.. nice to see them like this.. =)
the simplicity of life n happiness.

its the small things that counts .. =)





pain is a feeling u get
when sth cuts u
pricks u
burns u
hits u
slaps u
makes u shout in pain
or cry

torture is when u feel pain but u dun scream u dun shout
but yet u r yelping helplessly inside
but no one hears or feels it
cos
no one understands
its invisible.
it doesnt bleed like other kinds of pain
it doesnt bruise or show on the outside
it just hurts deep down

an ache is a feeling somewhat like pain
perhaps its more like a tingling pain
when u get a tooth ache
a stomach ache.
its not as painful as a deep cut.
but still u r not comfortable n hope the ache will go away
den u pop a pill n slowly it goes away

heartache is a type of ache
which aches more than any kind of ache
which wrenches ur insides
which drenches ur joy
pills dun relieve the pain
cos its incurable
n it aches so bad u dunno wad to do
but hope for the better
the only remedy is perhaps..
if u r blind to sights
deaf to sounds
perhaps it wunt ache that much

laughters are available in plenty
some laugh because they are happy
some laugh because something tickles them
some laugh because they have to
some laugh because they r covering up e pain
some laugh in anguish
to be able to make ur emotions obscure. its hard.


who can master emotions
and combat pain
who can ignore hurt n engage in fake joy at ease

whoever can master that
has
no feelings


went to sing k today
its amazing how singers can sing their songs with emotion in accordance to the song
like when the lyrics is about a break up
or a death.. or a form of departure..
the voice that sings it portrays that emotion effectively.. n its amazingly cool that the singers can sing tons of songs of diff genres but yet be able to convey these different emotions at the specific times they have to..
cool hor

aniwaes
random ..
but
i still haven adapted to the reality that sch has started
n damn sian about it
cos..
i wan to nua i wan to go out
i DUN WAN TO GO TO SCHOOL!> lol
n next sem. if mych n ben r gone for exchange.
haiz. i dunno wad to do . im gg to seriously dread sch like mad
i'll prob be back to anti social mod. :(













holidays r officially gg to be over soon
which is damn damn damn SIAN

went for the last trip of this hols at mersing..
after cambodia, tons of jb suppering n jb touring, kuching,hongkong..

last trip to mersing which ended off the holidays was not bad
tried my best to kip upbeat about everything
sometimes just wondered y must i mind n be such an asshole..
bt overall. it was fun la.. esp when we went offroading n kenna stuck.. n esp when lg's car was stuck in the sand when the tide was rising n waters were inching nearer n nearer to the car.. that one was a bit panicky.. cos if dun work faster.. tides will rise..
lol
not bad a trip.. but too bad lenice didnt go,. was a bit sian bout that.. haha.. but her father was as entertaining and funny.. haha!

n im 1% less scared of insects now.. cos i dare to step down from the car even though once i open the door its always like mud or grass cos the driver hor.. onlli park easier for him to get off de lei.. hurr. hahaha!!!!

hope lg enjoyed the trip too! n the cake.. n ur pressie=)




hk

dokdok


malacca



yatan told me this when i told him how unlucky n sian i felt about all the misfortunes

*iphone lost but u din lose anithg else
*money lost but u still had enuff to spend
*see flasher but u din get molested

good point.
so .. im lucky? haha


"i have learnt to keep what bothers and what really matters in here, they call it heart. Maybe it has a better name we’ve yet to think of but too much kept in here gets overwhelming . Sometimes, I cry. Sometimes, I spit some out and let the world in and sometimes, I hide them so deep in here that I can never find them ever again. I get angry when I tear in a public transport and especially so when I catch some dude staring at me with sympathy in his eyes. I mean, I cannot stop them from staring and I don’t need sympathy but first up, I can stop myself from being so stupid. This could just be an additional factor that builds up the pressure because when one thing goes wrong, everything else in life seems like it’s working its might against you and on these days, I feel like I need things to be well again. Maybe, it’s just a convenient excuse to need you."

-adapted from anita's blog. glad she took lit. cos its so .. her cup of tea..
how i wish anita was online.. need a person to talk to.. like.. NOW. haha! anita where art thou!





petrified....
went to jog just now
den when running towards je side..
i saw this weird indian man .. found him v familiar
den when i ran back
he took off his pants..n stand there.. den i faster look away..
i panicked. den i ran n ran n ran as fast as i can tho i was dying of fatigue
i just kept running n running n running!
den was v scared he would run towards me.. so i kept running till i saw ppl. den i slowed down n ran alongisde the ppl runing at the jogging track .. kept looking back to make sure he nv follow me..


den suddenly a bicycle passed by. it was the stupid man.. den he even dare to turn back n whistle
if i wasnt still in panick n in a damn scared mode
i would realli wan to kick him into the canal n let the rainwater n flush him away to malaysia or drown him or sth
rem the last time a few months bacck i saw him also. that time he just rode his bicycle den kept cycling behind me n whistling..
but this time he stand there n did such a sick thing.
omg
v freaked out
reminds me of kuching the stupid sword maker
feel the goosebumps n the fear
omg. damn sick damn sick

scared to the brim
first time i ran so fast. n frightened.


wanted to post pics of hk.. melacca.. etc
but practically not at home the whole time
room is in a mess
mind is in a mess
luan qi ba chao.

watched yog for the first time today
not bad lei.. quite exciting

happy belated bdae lg =)



so fast
tom gg hk liao le
dun have the yey! im gg holiday mood altogether
cos kip falling sick ..
n plus other stuffs like poor lg who is gg to miss me! =)
n plus .. when i come back spore..
it's gg to be a bit different...

finally dragged myself up to pack my luggage yest
it was a rough pack
but i duno y end up luggage got SO MANI THINGS!
why why!
did i bring TOO MUCH STUFFS?
should i take some out? shit..
3/4 of my luggage is filled la! its supposed to be half filled onli..
so i can go hk n shop like mad
i have resisted shopping in singapore for some time
cos im waiting to go hk n shop
if there is nothing to buy in hk
den..
i'll buy lots of biscuits back! HAHA!

o finally let my nails rest..
so painted it again after letting it rest for a few days..
yawns
gg to meet xt now
n later meet rena anita joo yiting etc..
im so tired

sulksss



ah! my body feels v weird..
ah!
i can feel my skin is v warm!
like body is trying to emit heat but the skin is not permeable n refusing to let the heat out!
ah!
n my throat is starting to hurt!
so tom must drink liang teh!
ah!
gg hk soon

its nearly 10pm
i wan to do a lot of things lei
i wan to dye my hair
while dye-ing it.. i'm gg to change my hamster's mansions which r in a mess again
n den im gg to iron all my clothing to bring to hk.. n dump some in the luggage

i took a nap today
a nap that lastes for FOUR WHOLE HOURS
it was so shuang
cos i had a nitemare yest nite..
n plus slpt v late
made me so tired
i slpt like a pig today!
omg

im gg to go jog tom morning!
cos i have been suppering all the time
crap!
time to stop n jian some fei again!

n ah
read 8 days
rachel allen from the show bake! is coming to singapore
the tickets r at $76.. but too bad cant go.. :( cos its 14aug. ..

aniwae.. after hk trip.. im gg to continue to save money
get a new iphone or htc..
n get dad a lappie
n last priority. if got more money.. so gian for olympus pen
LOVE the lomo effects .. n even more when i see joe's pics. ah!
save! =)





fireworks! they exploded in front of us! n there were those that exploded from far .. den then the more they explode. the nearer they got! so near i tot it'll touch my face n burn me!SO NICE!!!!!!!! =)=) =) reali worth the wait!


tada! we went out to celebrate xiaohong's bdae too! he's exactly two yrs old! n xh so cute. he dun wan bdae cake. he wan 3 siew mais for his bdae HAHA!


tada! bdae boy in abu dhabi! lol! =)


super sunny n hot day! nice sun. nice place. nice company. lovely fireworks!
yey!
happy to u baby! haha!! =)



had a great time with the two of them
wanted to ps them at first cos i was so so so dead beat after the lessons at SDC
ya.. weird thing about this job.. u enjoy it.. but it realli drains ur energy.. cos u stand up the whole time n u have to use so much energy trying to talk n make sure ppl listen .. even tho u have a mic at hand. haha!

aniwaes. kids nowadays have realli weird names
i dunno y r their parents giving them such cmi names
got one cute lil indian boy .. his name is like.. alugan or sth.. sounds like street fighter adugan !
den got one called zion.. or bianca..
n for some even if the name sounds normal. the spelling is like.. WA! amazing. all the funny phonics comes into play lei
just to try to make their child's name sound special..
but.. its a bit.. over special hor..
got one cute lil ang mo called margot.. she pronounced her name to me n sounds like maggot lo!
omg. haha
but.. the children r like.. SUPER SUPER SUPEr CUTE! that i feel like kidnapping them
feel so happy to see them.. dat during each 45 mins with them.. totally forgot how tired i m or how my throat feels sore
cute-ness level for most of them.. 100!
names wise.. ... fail!

back to the dinner!
went to xt's family n rena's family.. so i was the odd one out. but ok la! haha!
n wore the t shirt rena chan made for me! make me look so fat.. cos its big n white! haha!
but also means i can eat more. heee
becos of my stupid weird rash..
i abstained frmo seafood for a long time
so tonight.. cant miss it ma
we go eat pang xie shi fu! of cos must eat n try the crabs..
so .. i still managed to skip the prawns. but the salted egg crab was.. hen hao chi lei!
i ate 3 man tou
n rena n xt also ate dman a lot
so full
n we took so many CRABBY pics. haha!
but good times seem to fly past real fast!

n at the same time.. time passes slowly when u r waiting for ppl to return.. lol

the irony of time
.. its like its never constant huh..

paiseh
but.. yes the KIDS R SO CUTE!

n o jooleng. i saw on 8 days. there is a jap restaurant or sth called "Joo Joo" .. u can go google n see if u wanna go there eat! ur name lei! haha!





tho she irritates the hell out of me
n geks me all the time
n scolds n dismisses all my great band frens
n hates it when i go for band prac
n used to hate me in jc
n i used to dislike her in sec sch
n she still geks me to death up till TODAY
..
but still
..
i still wish she didnt have to go .. :(
sighs n sulks..

n lglg.. faster come back ....................



haha.. thanks to everyone.. i had a realli realli realli great bdae.. n a v touching one.. i dunno how to describe how i feel also.. its.. indescribable! lol!
this is my new go to market t shirt! hahaha made proudly by rena chan dokdok



leftovers from LSN.. haa! rena is no doubt the LS leader.. =) n every yr.. no matter how much we change. we r still as cheapskate.. always go swensens get free ice cream on our bdaes.. haha!! thanks for everything.. from anita's cake.. to rena's t shirt n sunflower n BEE card n the video that made me cry n cry...
=)


whilst watching the video.. it just reminded me of how much all of us have changed n the things we have been through .. whether at some point we hated each other.. or irritated each other to the brim.. or when we became like strangers for some pt in time.. but wadeva it may be.. till todae.. 6 yrs? 7 yrs? our friendship.. has wavered a bit here n there.. but it still remains.. .. n even stronger..
happy anita is coming to nie .. ntu.
but sad that rena is gg to hk .. :(


n to my dear bf who was accompanying me while i was sneezing or gg to sneeze or slping cos i was half dead on my bdae.. thank u thank u too!!!! love the flowers which were scented v nicely! n the nice big cake.. cheese cake lei! n my mum ate it! lol!!
thanks for being so sweet! nv complained that i kept falling sick n always letting me go home n slp b4 we go out again .. =) lalala! hugs! thanks for always coming to my house to fetch me or fetch me home when we go out.. cos its rather taxing to drive n drive.. esp when u stay in hougang n i stay in jurong.. thanks for joining insinyur ! haha! if not i wunt have known u either.. lol



=)=)



buffet at regent hotel todae.... munch munch! xiaohong got carried by a lot of ppl today too!!! lol !!



he could have continued n went off roading.. but he didnt n came for my bdae buffet!!! yeys!! =)

n anita! ...he actually liked my flowery dress! hhahahaha!


n thanks to this grp of ppl too! without them.. i sometimes wonder how would life in uni be like without them.. .. europe trip. taiwan trip. so much memories.. thanks for making me a yoghurt cheesecake with MY baking tin! haha! n coming down to my house downstairs so late at nite.. =) touched.


yes. marie is touched to tears by each n everyone of u
million n one thanks wunt b enuff to express my appreciation n my heartfelt joy =)
who says 21st is a blast.. 22nd bdae can be a blast too ok! <3




THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR EVERYTHING..
had a reali realli realli great bdae =)
i met the ppl i love a lot today
lougong!!!! =)=)=)
rena n anita!!!
band ppl!!
m sneezing non stop..must b u all tinking of me.. haha!!

thanks for everything..
from anita's cake..to rena's t shirt.. to wh's cake n flowers.. to the band ppl's cake n card..
every little thing u all did realli touched me a lot a lot!!
n b4 i knock out n slp

THANK U !!!! =)
each n every one of u reali made me a memorable 22nd =)
tho im like half dead from the horrible flu . but im smiling to myself like some moron..
ok
cmi to the max le..
was supposed to slp 2 hours ago! hahaha!!!
nitenite ppl
thanks again

yes
marie is v touched. very.